Uncertain Leadership Questions

Human beings are so complex sometimes we can only speculate about how they work. In the fitness locker room the other day I listened to the most sociable member (a lawyer), someone who invariably knows and jovially greets everyone, have a conversation with another lawyer about the most nasty defenses they put forward in courts. Since I'm usually rather glum (not really enjoying exercising) and brusque with most people in that environment, I asked myself this question:

Do we have a limited pool or a need for a balance of pleasantness in our lives? He is nasty in court, but nice outside, where I can be rather abrupt outside of work (especially at the gym), but constantly striving to be super-pleasant in my professional capacities of human resource manager or consultant. Is it too much to ask that I would be equally concerned about being nice to everyone all the time... or can I let myself off the hook and excuse it by saying I need a break from the demands of niceness in my work.

I enjoy being nice when I need to be. He can't be nice at work, so perhaps over-compensates off the job? On the other hand, I have no excuse. Why take it out on unsuspecting acquaintances by being stand-off-ish just because I've already enjoyed a long day of being super-nice for pay? Well, I'm exaggerating a little, but can't I find some excuse to be legitimately grumpy some of the time? Thinking this gives me more empathy for bosses who seem constitutionally unable to say a single nice word. But I won't let them off the hook either.

Proving there's a fund of information on the web on any subject, you can try "Grumpiness."